It's Monday afternoon,
I open up this blog post with absolutely nothing in particular to post or write about.
Although I am on a "blog break" I know that today I want to post something,
Something...anything... I don't know what. I'm just going to write.
Something...anything... I don't know what. I'm just going to write.
Last night I lay awake on the sofa, trying for the life of me to fall asleep,
after being woken up (as usual) by my daughters climbing into my bed.
And I talked out loud to God, something to the effect of this~
God, I'm asking for your help.
All those things that my mind wants to care about,
that really don't matter,
help me to let go of them.
All those things that bother me for no reason at all,
help me to give those things to you.
Lord, I need to rely on YOUR peace and grace
to make it through each day.
Help me to stop being such a freak.
(and I probably threw in a "I'm just sayin...")
I need you God. To help.
Just help me.
Not a real intellectual prayer. It was your basic
"Call on me in your day of trouble" prayer.
You know, the same one prayed by most people...
the only one prayed by most people.
Yet, whether or not we talk to Him every day,
or call on him ONLY when we are in trouble,
He is still there. Pursuing our love.
That's what he is all about. Love.
Relentless Love.
I'm at a point in my life where I feel pretty confident in my relationship
with God. If you knew all those things buried deep inside of me that he has
had to dig out over and over again, you would know my confidence
does not come from my own "good behavior" or "good attitude."
But my confidence comes from knowing who HE is.
As much as I screw up over and over...where I used to back away from his mercy and love...
Instead I
now
fall into his grace to carry me through this next stretch of my life.
of my year, my week, my day...
His grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made perfect
in my weakness~2 Corinthians 12:9
That is what grace is all about. To HELP ME be strong, when I am weak.
Not only to take the rap for me. But to give me his strength when I need it.
I am so thankful that he has opened my eyes to this.
It's become an amazing source of comfort
knowing I can never push him so far away where he doesn't want me anymore.
My confidence in his love for me is never shaken, no matter what I've done...
what attitude I've carried, nor how many times I've failed him.
His love still pursues ME. I can't believe it. It chases ME!!
Yet, at the same time,
I can believe it
, because that is who God is.
Relentless Love.
So many times in my past, I pulled away when life got "iffy"
but in the back of my head,
or deep in my heart, he was chasing me down...
What he should have done was smack me across the face a few times,
grab me by the shirt and said "Julie!!! Listen Up Girl!! Hello Mcfly!! I'm here!!
Not to embarrass you, shame you! But to redeem you!!
Ask me for help!! Please, just ask."
He wants us to want his help.
He tells us to call on him, to knock, to seek, to ask him for anything....
It's the old "I want you to want me" scenario...
but as much as his Relentless Love pursues our love in return,
it's so that HE can help us. It's selfless.
That's what the cross was all about.
It was the ultimate example of a man pursuing his bride.
The "I will never give you up, bail on you, embarrass you...
I love you so much I would die for you" love.
And he did.
and on to the rest, I will always be fully assured in his Love.
And I know I can always go to him, and simply say
"God. I need your help today. I screwed up. I have no will power.
Gonna hafta rely on yours...mmmm..k?"
I had no intention today on writing a "christian-y, inpirational" type of post.
I opened this post up, like I said, and just told myself,
I am going to start typing...we'll see what comes out.
Apparently I am not the only one that needs to hear this over and over again.
Somebody else needs a reminder that no matter what you've done or
gone through, God is grabbing you by the shirt and telling you "I'm here!! Hello!!"
He is still there pursuing your love with his Relentless Love.