Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I thought thats what bloggers did...

Either you are going to hate me after reading this,
or love me after reading this, because you totally get what I am saying.
Or maybe you will still laughing to yourself because when you
first saw the word "bloggers" your brain said "boogers" like mine did.
But I'm totally going out on a limb just going to be me for a minute,
and write what I wanna write, yo.
So, given the fact that we all have our moments when we think we are hilarious.
You know those moments where you are typing and giggling to yourself,
and you come to the brilliant knowledge that you probably should be a comedian...
And you are on twitter, or facebook, or email and wish you could
strike through half of your post, because to a blogger you know the 
strike through means you think you sho IS funny. Mmmm...
So I wish I could have striked through half my brain today
as I was running around changing diapers, getting cups, pulling kids off of tables.
The usual stuff. 
Because as I was doing all this,  my brain was racking all
the lame stuff I have started doing since I start blogging.
In the words of my very educated 8yr old son, "What the what?!"
Speaking all my random thoughts of how phony I've been to Jeff,  
he was messing around on his phone & grunting quietly in response
 listening attentively as he always does when I talk to him about blogging.
And I was telling him with this giant smile on my face, a few giggles mixed in...
and it was obvious I thought I was the best ever. I mean the BEST of everything.
Yet, he couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to humor me and at least crack a smile.
But it was either I tell him or the toddler I was babysitting..
Although I can guarantee you she would have definitely laughed.

Anyways, a few weeks ago, I was tweeting. 
Ok, lets stop right there and talk about tweeting. I never EVER tweeted before I had a blog.
I had an account and had no clue how to use it really. If I were to use it,
it would simply be to update my facebook status and why couldnt I just update my
facebook status with my facebook?  I did NOT get that!
I remember asking a few random bloggers "Ok, I just started a blog, what the heck do I do?"
and Kara from The Mom Diggity actually is the one who emailed me back.
LOVE her by the way. She really IS the bomb diggity. She told me that bloggers are big tweeters.
You need to tweet and connect with people. So I did.
Shortly after, I got to know Ashley from 5ohWifey a little and I posted something about my 
blog on my twitter from my super old school phone. I typed in the 40404 and tweeted
to my little hearts desire. Ever been there?
And she tweeted me back and said "Girl, You need to link that to something."
And I was like "Oh, uhhh, ok... ooops" (I feel dumb.) "I don't really know how to do that."
ANYWAYS.. back to "a few weeks ago, I was tweeting."
The hype and girl talk of the night was about the Influence Conference,
and naturally speaking, I wriggled my way into some conversation...
I start talking to Jenna from The Life Of The Wife...and I said to her
"You gotta go! So I can give you a hug!"
And she says to me, "I'm not a hugger, just letting you know."
And for a brief moment, I had an epiphany... and I was like
What the crap am I talking about? I'm not a hugger either!
Why on earth would I say that?!!
So I said to her, "I'm not a hugger either, I just said that because I thought
that's what bloggers do."
(side note: did I just drop names of 3 super awesome big time  bloggers to make myself 
look cool? absolutely.)
And for some reason I thought I was hilarious, because I was so brutally honest 
with myself and her! That REALLY IS the reason WHY I said that.
Because that's what you say right? Right? Sweet Girl?
Huh? Huh? Did you catch that, Sweet Friend?
I've been catching a whole lot of "sweet girls" and "sweet friends" come out of my
fake little wanna be blogger tweeting fingertips,
and there is NO WAY ON YOUR LIFE you would ever hear me call you 
SWEET GIRL in real life. I might call you one of these following terms of endearment:
Playa, Gangsta, Guuurrrlll, 
You may even catch a "ma lady" come out of me...
or just your name...
More often than not, you're just gonna get a "Hey."
No hug, No Hi-Five, No fist pump... just your run of the mill
plain ole ordinary "Hey" followed by a long awkward silence.
(Ok: quick clarification. If I havent seen you in a long time or something like that
I will hug you, but I dont regularly hug my friends.)
I always found it so awkward when Rachel and Monica (on FRIENDS) kissed 
(like a friendship type) kiss as one of  them left the apartment. 
I told one of my closest friends, "There is no way on this planet, I will ever kiss you...
Just letting you know now in case you were planning on it. 
You're lucky if you get a hug outta me."
So WHY am I being so fake? 
For the record, I have absolutely NO PROBLEM with someone calling me
or anyone sweet friend or sweet girl, or whatever terms of endearment are
YOURS...because if it is YOU to say that, then you really ARE probably the sweetest,
kindest girl ever and I certainly cherish your heart.
If that is in your nature, than I welcome your "sweet friend" with a
 uncomfortable smile and a sideways hug. xoxo
But if YOU ever catch ME calling YOU sweet friend or sweet girl again,
I give you permission to call me out on twitter, humiliate me on your blog, virtually smack me...
do what you gotta do to knock some sense into me...
Because that is simply not me. And I am telling you right now,
Somebody has most likely replaced me with a fraud. Wink Wink.
You will know if I feel comfortable with you
 if I call you "Rock Star," or say "OMG, I LOVE YOU!!" Maybe a "Guuuurrrlll, you hot."
You may get a "Whatevs" or a "Holla"
I'm more of a 'Carrie' from King Of Queens.
I've got a bit of a feisty, sarcastic, spunky exterior...
But I swear to you on my life... everything I write about  
loving big on people, believing in people, seeing beauty inside of you 
is absolutely the REAL ME! 
My encouragement at times may come in the form of
"Awesome! Rock N Roll, Baby!!" But it is still in the most sincerest form.

I mentioned a few times on twitter and in  my recent "talent" VLOG that I've been
feeling a little burnt out lately. Mainly because my heart TRULY IS to love and support people .
I've been doing a lot of what I think people would be happy with, 
forgetting to just be me sometimes.
(of course it IS me to be there for people, but you know what I mean)
I miss me. I miss writing. Being sarcastic. Being encouraging.
Whatever. I miss it sometimes in exchange for being the "counterfeit" version of me.
I really spent much of my life trying to please people,
and just over the past few years, I grabbed a hold of WHO I AM...
and people better learn to like this girl, because it's me.
I may be different than you, but I am me..
and this is who God made me to be.
So I am taking a vow: for the sake of my sanity...
to stop trying so hard to be the girl people like. and just be the girl I am...
and hopefully that WAS the girl you like...wink wink.
Really "the fraud" has only shown up the past 2-3 weeks, so for those of who
you who have been around awhile, trust me, you do KNOW me!
And if I meet you, I WILL hug
This is my vow: I will never do something again or say something again, 
because "I thought that's what bloggers did." I will be me. 
Real. Sarcastic. In Love With Jesus. Lover of Beauty & People. 
ain't nobody gonna make me be your clone... me.
For the record: pictures are almost NEVER me. They are staged.
I'm always messing with some kind of 
tint or effect, erasing some wrinkle, zit, grey hair. Whatever.
You will see the REAL me, when you see me. For now, you will 
just have to love me for my heart! =)
(or I guess my videos are a little better resemblance of me, but still
slightly enhanced by technology) xo


Elisabeth @ La Vita e Bella said...

i think sometimes we all do a few things because we think thats what bloggers do - but hey - at least you recognize it :P and that comment about giving a hug is hysterical :)

meghan said...

Whoa! This post was awesome. Loved every word of it, because I feel like there is a little big of all bloggers who do something or say something or post something sometimes because that's what bloggers do, or that's what we can do behind the disguise of our computers. Mine? "Hey Chica!" I never say chica in real life. I love people who do, but I can't pull it off. In fact I wish I could. But I honestly think this is so great, and I love your commitment to never say or do something that isn't *you* just because that's what you think bloggers do. You go girl! (I would say that in real life). New follower.

Kerrie said...

oh how I love you (the real you) as much as any stranger could love another. I LOVED when you replied that to Jenna (and me I believe) about high-fiving instead. That's so you. I think you are, unlike most, able to call yourself out or make a joke at your own expense. But I get what you mean. (I too do not use the term, "sweet anything". I can't even think of a clever example to say, "except sweet.. ice tea?" because I hate tea. YUCK). Anywho, I love parentheses. And I worry most about being me when it comes to vlogging. I make wade watch them and ask him if it sounds like me, looks like me, seems normal to someone who actually KNOWS me. Cause a lot of people who know me read my blog. So I definitely worry about coming off fake. Whoa. I wrote a book. I will sign it for you at the Influence Conference. Love ya! (I really say that)

betwixxt said...

I completely understand. Making your way in the blog world is hard. It does seem sometimes that we say things we would never say in RL. I am not that girl that I pretended to be when I first started my blog. Its hard because it does seem that those that are fake get more readers. But I have just decided that I blog because I love it. No matter if I have 3 readers or 3000. So I am going to just be me and hopefully people will love it anyway. And gurl I totally love your sarcastic humor.
Gracie B

Lori said...

For the record, I loved it! You so hit the nail on the head about the blogger life & how we interact with other bloggers. I look forward to reading more!

Annelise @ Aunie Sauce said...

UM>>> Julie this is awesome. For the record, I KNOW I called you sweet girl. And you're right, we do "do" that. Weird.

I think I call people at church "sweet girl" though so it's OK? Right?

UM>> and keep up this writing. it's awesome. saucy. funky fresh.


Jenn said...

Love this post! I struggle sometimes with making sure I'm authentic on my blog. The reality is, I'm kinda weird and sarcastic but I don't always know how to translate that to my writing, where the context is different and you can't see the funny faces I'm making. Also, I swear too much IRL but that's another story. Anyhoo, thanks for the reminder :-)

Kristine @ The Foley Fam {unedited} said...

Love it! It's super easy to get caught up in the "blogging world" I'm totally guilty. You recognized it, owned up and rocked it as usual!! I love you! AND I'd say that to your face PLUS give you a huge hug, because I'm a hugger :) XOXOXO

Makaila said...

good post mama. and yes, I call all the ladies I love IRL "mama". ;)

know what I personally have struggled with? Being funny and witty. There are so many damn funny, witty ladies out here in blog world and I am just NOT. I'm well aware of it. Even then, I spent a couple weeks trying to be. And then I gave up cause it was too time consuming to take 5 minutes a comment to think of something witty to say. Haha.

keep keepin' it real girl. and ya, I say that IRL lots too. :D

Lisa @ MMT said...

Haha! This is so true and I'm glad someone is speaking up! I think a part of me is more me on my blog than in real life. Honestly, I'm kinda awkward and socially dumb in real life, but when typing and blogging I can express myself better... Is that weird? You just wait until we meet! ;)

Rach said...

Just found your blog through twitter. Loved every bit of this post! Definitely smiled my way through reading this because I totally get it. Thanks so much for posting!

Kelly said...

Great post guuurrrrllll! It's so true social media is so awkward and makes us awkward until we find our proper footing in this crazy cool bloggy social media world. I think you're awesome. I was cracking up the whole time. I read this post. It rang so true.

Jessica Who? said...

ummmmm YES! I didn't even realize I did this until NOW! I think my online voice is different from my real life voice... is that weird? is that bad? IDK! But it's kinda funny now that I think about it.

Thanks for pointing it out, SWEET GIRL! :)

the mom diggity said...

I'm cracking up because ummmm I do talk exactly how I talk online!!! I'm totally cheesy and ridiculous!

I'm so glad I corrupted you with twitter! It's all part of my evil plan.....

Jessica Sharp said...

I love this! I used to feel the same way. Like I had to act, talk, be a certain way for peeps to like me. I'm finally starting to find out who I really am & who God created me to be!

Christen said...

Haha, this totally cracked me up. Love it!


Heather said...

I love this! I feel like "bloggers" can (sometimes) be very cliquey and unless you are truly invested in tweeting, reviewing, and giveaways, it can be hard to feel "accepted".
Nice to know I'm not the only one who consciously thinks about doing all the right steps when I blog!


Carly @ Texas Lovebirds said...

Haha this post definitely gave me a good laugh.

I think it's really easy to get sucked into the "blogging world," even in the way you talk. I've definitely found myself saying things I feel like I "should" say because I blog. So silly, isn't that?

I'm also not a hugger. I was just having this talk with a friend the other day who is totally a hugger. She hugs everyone goodbye and I always just wave. Heck..I don't even hug my mom goodbye all the time. All of that to say, if we meet at Influence, you don't have to worry about any awkward hugs. ;)

Krista said...

Haha! love it. I've actually analized this before...I think for me sometimes I worry texts, emails, tweets, etc. can come across cold, so I tend to use lots of nice words and excessive smiley faces to make sure my nice mood gets through---> :) I do sometimes use sweet girl in real life, but also my own {mom version} 16 year old boy talk AND sometimes a combination of both. But, I would so love it if you called me 'playa'. Just so you know. Thanks for sharing this...reminds me to keep it real!

Jelli said...

Funny lady, you. Every now and then I catch odd words springing from my fingertips too. I suppose my most common is the virtual hug, because I too am definitely a hug-avoider. I tend to deal well with the fake cheek kisses that are customary here in Costa Rica, but hugs..Uh uh. Not my thing. Thanks for being real. I enjoyed a chuckle with this post.

Cat said...

I am totally with you here. I catch myself saying all kinds of things to other bloggers that would NOT come out of my mouth in real life. Also, when hubby reads some of the emails I get from other bloggers he's like "who IS that and why are they calling you sweetie?" lol. That's great if that's who you are, but it's not a common thing in our circle so he's always a little shocked. Thanks for being you! That's what we're here for :)

Jenna@The Life of the Wife said...

I love you. Have I mentioned that? Not in like a creepy way but I love how you write. It makes me sit back and think. I'm glad my comment made you think too! We all are guilty of it! Sometimes I think I just run out of ways to say "thank you" or "you're so sweet" so it's hard not to seem redundant. You are you and thats why I love ya!! Can't wait to high five in real life!!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

Found you through your conversation with Jenna on twitter....creepy I know. But this post made me laugh so hard and when I tried to tell hubby what I was laughing at he quickly said I DONT CARE and walked away. They will never get blogging, ever. Newest follower :)

Hollie said...

Thanks for this great post! I found you via the Mrs. Monologues link up. As a new blogger, all this weird blog lingo and sometimes seemingly too good to be true comradery can be scary to an outsider. I don't know whether to pretend to fit in, or try to blaze my own trail and hope others will get it. Thanks for the fresh take and the assurance that I'm not alone out here as I try to figure it all out!

Christine T said...

Oh! you are from Milwaukee? I am visiting and am planning on meeting up with a blogger from Madison! Do you want to join our blogger meet up?

Send me your email or email me at

God bless,

oKayeAmy said...

This is fabulous! I really think that nearly all bloggers need this reality check every now and again. Just to make sure they aren't picking up catchy blogger behaviors that aren't innately them. I mean, no one wants to read the same cookie cutter blogs. That would be boring.

TicoTina said...

hahaha! I am happy to know and have been there for that awkward twitter hug convo, LOL. I'm glad you're making this authenticity commitment - you know I'll hold you to it - particularly after I know you IRL =)

Between the Bind said...

Blog Star drop by!

I'm a hugger...but I can keep it to myself I promise. ;) You are too funny and I love this blog post. Glad to have seen you through this hop. And refreshing to read such an honest post.

Would love to have you stop on over to my little corner of the internet if you'd like! :) Looking forward to what you post next.

LWLH said...

I completely relate to this post because I had a similar epiphany a few months ago where I realized I was watering myself down and not being my real self and speaking my real voice.

I curse, I don't have great grammar and I probably call too many strangers 'love, hun, tootz, or puddin' pop' but that's just me and I am fo' sho a hugger....beware :)

Brooke Arellano said...

You are AWESOME! LOVE this post SO much! Stopping by from the blog hop! And I'm SO glad I found your awesome blog! Am now a new follower:) Would love if you could follow me back!

AbsoluteMommy said...

Best post. Thanks for the reminder. "Sweet Friend" lmao!!

Anonymous said...

Love.Your.Guts. Can't wait to awkwardly stand near you....

Paige said...

Mmkay, I love your blog. And I'm not saying that b/c that's what bloggers say. Srsly, you're hilarious.

And I hope I stay real on my blog!

Amber M. said...

YES YES YES YES YES!!! I see so many "sweet lady" or crap like that tweets and it honestly makes me think that all these people go way back via internet friends or in real life friends and then I realize that they hardly know each other! I've called some people sweet when they really act sweet, but man, I feel like a crappy blogger when I don't act all nice and happy go lucky and talk to everyone in that high pitched happy/perky snow white voice.
Be real.
I try my hardest to be real.
My last few posts have been mostly picture posts or DIY and I feel bad that I haven't actually word vomited in a while like I used to but then I remind myself that I'm not trying to be a "blogger", I'm just entertaining my kids and posting pictures of how I did it and that sometimes life gets in the way of those real life rambles that I used to write up.
Phew, I hope any of that makes sense. Haha.

Mrs. White said...

Preeeeeeach sista-friend.
I find myself doing the same exact thing.
especially because i figure if you're one way to me, you expect something similar in return. So if you're super kind and sweet and don't swear past golly gee wiz and offer up a 'hey sweet friend', then I suppose I should be a polly anna back. [not to say there's anything -wrong- with the sweet polly anna dear type].
BUT regardless, random tangental rambling aside, I 100% agree.
"and that's the gospel trooooth"

nthecity said...

I love this line the best: "I've been doing a lot of what I think people would be happy with, forgetting to just be me sometimes."
It's so easy eh? I catch myself doing things that others will appreciate too often - and not in a loving them like Jesus way - but just simply to "fit in" or whatever.
But I am a hugger, and often called a motivator, and a definite dork around those who stick around.

Allison Coomes said...

Julie-love that you are real ALL the TIME! That's why you are at the top in my opinion girl-). And Carrie from "King of Queens"-I totally see it ha! Thanks for being such a help to me in blog world-your heart is a unique and refreshing find on here!

Dana @ five30three said...

Awesome!! Love that you're keeping it real, sweet girl. I want to hug you for writing this post. (sorry, I had to)

Tricia Tennery said...

I LOVE your blog and LOVE that you want to be you! I try to write mine as close to ME as I can. I also love Carrie, she's great! I'm not a big huger unless it's been awhile as well. My daughter has discovered Gossip Girl on Netflix and is now sitting down to watch all 100+ episodes, so I started signing my posts, xoxo, thinking I was being cute. Maybe not, /shrug.

Until next post,

Lucy McCracken said...

Julie, I love your authenticity! I love that you are so real! It's so refreshing. I think we all fall into the trap of "wanting to please others" and therefore we find ourselves conforming to the person we think others would like. I think you are awesome just the way you are. I gave you a shout out on my blog today for just that exact reason!

Danielle Leal said...

Such a great post! I loved it! I love how honest you are. That's the only way to be. Good for you!
I hope you have a great day!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Seriously it drives me nuts when people do things because it's what everyone else does.

I am a hugger... so if I said, "Ooh I can't wait to see you and give you a big hug!" I mean it. But if I wasn't... I wouldn't say it. Because then you get yourself into that awkward position in which the person's like "Oh crap, she didn't hug me, does she not like me??"

I don't know, I'm probably rambling. But I do love your honesty in this post, which makes me like you even more and makes me want to hug you (although I wouldn't because you aren't a hugger and then that's just weird and awkward and who wants that).

Anyway... that's all. I'm done being a weirdo now!

Nikkiana said...

I know exactly what you're saying. I'm constantly guilty of toning my personality down on my blog because I perceive that I won't be liked or accepted if I show my true colors.

Maria said...

Julie, I love this post!! It's so refreshing and real...
I agree with you all the way!
Be yourself and be proud of it!
Happy 4th to you and your family!

Janna Renee said...

Boy does the blog world suck us in! I've noticed changes in myself, but in a good way. I AM that happy, loving person that would jump on you and hug you if we were to meet. Sorry, you wouldn't know what hit you...
I had actually been cut off from friends, family, and hugs when we moved to Colorado, so now I can be all lovey dovey through blog land. I still have a feisty side "She get it from her mama", but mostly- I am just happy :)
I am glad that you are "being you", because I think we have all fallen for you. Your personality definitely comes out in the blog, and we LOVE it. Keep it up!

Jess @ Colorful Ones said...

Wow - thanks for sharing, for your brutal honesty, and for also being funny along the way! :)

God Bless!

Jackie said...

Preach, rock star.


Stephanie H. said...

love this post! thanks for the reminder and PS - I'm totally saying hi to you at Influence! :) I didn't know you were going!! I'm still looking for roommates if you hear of anything! Thanks, friend.

Erin said...

Girl, thanks for your honesty. refreshing and really beautiful, as usual! :)

reminds me to be myself and that is oh so important. more important than doing "what bloggers do" :)thanks for the reminds, friend! xoxo

Erin said...

ps - and i realize i just "xoxo"-ed ha! but that is honestly so how i am haha! so i'm embracing it - thanks to you :)

Lauren said...

THis is a really good post,Julie. I don't have a lot of time to read other blogs so I think that's a good thing. Then you don't get a chance to compare and pick up those "blogger" habits. But I do try and read my blogger friend's posts once in awhile. Someone said something in a blogger post one time and it has stuck w/ me. A successful blogger said, "Don't try to be what you think people want to be, just be yourself and people will naturally gravitate towards you." In the beginning, I had a hard time finding my niche or my place. Then, I finally said, "I'm just gonna do what I want and like." It has become fun to blog for me since I did just that. This post will make a lot of people think. You go girl! And for the record, once I leave my xoxoxo at the end, It's not because I like to kiss and hug strangers, lol it's cuz I really do wanna give some of my blogger friends a big ole cyber hug! ;)


Lauren said...

ps. I LOVE the real you! :):) It's amazing to see you grow as a blogger.

Lena @ Mom2MemphisAndRuby said...

Okay, I'm way behind on this...
{stupid phone died on me and I have to use our ancient computer}
This is so true! I mostly call people sweetie & buddy in real life, but ONLY really close friends...
The blogger lingo does sneak up on the best of us, though!
I also noticed I censor myself a lot -- as in, I often type "eh?" and then delete cuz it's not cool to say "eh?"... but I'm Canadian and I do say "eh?" so maybe I should start start saying it more often, eh? Ahh... that felt so good!
Brilliant post, as usual, buddy! :)

Rachel said...

I laughed, even if I did have a slightly hard time following your entire train of thought. :P Maybe it's because I'm still so new to the blogging world that I'm still rather bewildered by the amount of hugs and kisses and "sweet girls" here. It's good that you refuse to let the culture change you! For me, I think the sheer quantity of virtual hugging going around makes me a little nervous...I hardly ever even hug my own grandparents! But there's other ways of loving people!

Colleen said...

Oh, I totally say sweet girl and friend and other things like that! I think it conveys something that we can't show without speaking and makes what you are saying warmer! Just as guilty for using smilies like Splenda. In real life, no, I'm super dry, and dont seem very warm so i always have to syrup up my my kids sugar pie and sweet pea and I use a ton of pet names. But, I'm not really a hugger either. ;)

Brooke @ Covered in Grace said...

Yes!! Julie!! Agreed.
You have my permission to call me out for that stuff too.
I'm going to scale back on my Xxo. I mean it when I write it..but still.

My "sweets" go more like this: Saweet!! And that's being genuine... like a "right on."

What I'm struggling fitting all the sponsor stuff into my own blogging jive. I need to figure out a schedule and stick to it. Ah. It's hard to balance.

The Hicklin's said...

I'm more of a silent reader on your blog.. but i just wanted to say sometimes we are so much alike I forget I'm not reading something I wrote.

Laurel Lee said...

Get it girl!! You have NO idea how much I needed to read this right now - I am in such a transitional weird discovery phase of my life and I am in constant need of reminder to just be ME (cause me is pretty awesome ;) Thank you for being so open and honest and I so appreciate your authenticity!!!

BeaumontGirl said...

I was supposed to be picking up our office but got sucked into this post and couldn't stop reading :) Thanks!

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