Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Monday, April 22, 2013

The Truth Is...

The truth is
sometimes life has to be on purpose
sure, we can just live and breath and speak
letting the dishes pile up on the counter
letting the dog go unbathed
letting the voice mail go unchecked
all these things I do weekly
scratch that, daily
I let things go
important things slide right past my day
like visits to dentist
or undone homework
or eczema that has infested my entire body
I think i wake up thinking
that if I pretend it's not there, somehow
it will go away on it's own
Ok, the truth is
the eczema I can't pretend
My skin literally crunches when I walk
and I'd like to pretend I'm not in pain
physical, actual pain
but I am
The truth is somedays when I manage to 
schedule a few long overdue appointments
read a few chapters from a book
 and sweep the floor
all in the same day
I feel like superwoman
and I tell myself to grow up
be an adult
The truth is, 
that little girl in the photo
Sometimes I have to be intentional with her
because she's the middle child
not my baby, not my first born
she got stuck in the middle
and I have to remind myself
and remind her
how much I love her
how happy she makes me
and how much her personality makes me laugh
and at night when the other two kids want me to rub their back,
tickle their feet 
and they shower me with kisses
and she simply rolls over with no requests of me
after saying "I love you Mommy"
It's then that I go in for the snuggle
I have to do it on purpose
So that she never forgets how much I love her
and need her
And the truth is 
she is my mini-me
she will go to bed silently
but the smile on her face
says more than any words ever could
I remember then how much my self sufficient
comedic middle child
needs me too.

linked up with my dear friend brooke at covered in grace

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Train In The Night

Train in the middle of the night,
tranquilize me, soothe me, relaxing my nerves
A million voices of a million thoughts that seemingly go unheard
those whispers that won't keep quiet
When I keep hushing them away
The rowdy sounds keep getting louder
as they are begging me to stay
I keep tossing and turning
lying there awake
The street lights shine their light on my mind
dissolving the sleeping pills that I take
Eyes wide open, every thought louder than the next
Until I hear that old familiar sound
that leaves me reverently perplexed
It's the sound of the train in the middle of the night
A simplicity that I beg
it's casual but not too close, in the distance but not unheard of
Carrying the freight
taking the weight off my shoulders
It's funny how a lasting smell, a lasting sound
can make a moment stand on its own
The informal introduction of the night train
reminds me I'm not alone
It's uninterested in what I have to say
yet soothingly drowns out all that is screaming in my head
Reminiscent of  that old Cash song
When the train is coming around the bend
It's as if a lullaby was rocking me
My eyes drift off the sleep
Until once again, my apprehensions keep me awake
I bid thee farewell,
dear train
dear train

Photography by my husband. Find him on Instagram as Superflysmith

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Oh Dear Girl, You Are Worth So Much More

**i couldn't sleep. this is for any girl that has ever tried to find their value in the "eyes" of a man**

oh dear one, you try to break free from the prison you have built
you try to claw your way out, grasping for breath
your fingernails dirty, your brow creases with lines of confusion
lines of regret
oh dear girl, why cant you see you are worth so much more
than this object of momentary adoration
seeking approval in  the lusting eyes of that man
his glances, his thoughts, the touch of his stare
what is it you are looking for, when your skin you bare 
oh dear one, why can't you see that you are worth more than what he thinks
you're worth more than those tears that you drink
how is it that you keep seeking the love of  those
who value only what they can see
depth is deeper, love is stronger,  purpose is found in freedom
not slavery to the weak
you are more  i keep trying to tell you,
you are worth so much more than working to  please to be loved. 
you deserve to be loved unconditionally
oh be strong, dear one. you have love.
It is me.
blindfolded you follow him
yet you can clearly see.
handcuffed to your own mistakes. When will enough be enough?
I'm telling you now and I told you then. I bled for you, and I'd do it again.
To me, you are worth my own life. I took it for you.
Like Romeo and Juliet,  a tragic death
I told you I would never abandon you, even when you forsake me
there is nothing you could ever do (or not do) that would make me want to leave
That is what you are worth, you are my everything
oh dear one, you needn't only to be told "oh baby,  you deserve more"
because you deserve more than mere words of debt
To be clothed in the glory of strength and purpose
is more beautiful  than the nakedness of  regret
let your smile show the confidence of how much you cost
let your eyes sparkle finding all that's been lost
Genuine love will seek you, because you are worth being sought
oh dear girl, the key to your heart 
isn't found in the baring of your body or skin
its treasured in the liberty of letting love win
This knot in your stomach, this burden you carry, this shame you live with 
 every single day and every night
let it go. let it go. let it go.
Let HIS love engulf you and comfort your aching soul

Friday, November 30, 2012

How I Want To Be Remembered

What do I want people to think of
when they remember me
my friends, my family, my observers and passer by-ers...
I was thinking about the things I don't want people to think of me
the other day,
things that I know people have,
assumptions or conclusions people have made about me
with very little knowledge of my story 
where I have been or where I am going
People have decided
This is who she must be
Without every really knowing who "she" is.
Those who have spent hours upon hours
talking to me,
laughing with me
crying with me
know that I have a story, 
but very few know the whole story.
But as we all do at some point,
we make a guess of what is going on in another persons life.
As much as I don't like to believe I care what others think,
to some degree we all do.
But all I can do is strive from this point on
to be the person I want people to know
The person I want people to remember
What would people say about me if I was gone?
Would they cry
While just a year ago they were talking about me behind my back?
Would they care?
Or would they think to themselves
would they say outloud to others
She was a wife to her husband,
I remember how much they laughed,
how much they cried, 
but in the end how earnestly they loved.
She was a mother who adored her children
and they were completely in love with her.
They had her wrapped around their fingers.
Life got a little crazy and chaotic for her
but she laughed in the face of tears.
Would they say
She was brave, She was strong
She finally found where she belonged
Her heart had beauty etched in it
because she shined with the beauty of the one she loved most,
 her Jesus.
She worked hard to point others to the love of Jesus
She was a worshiper without the music
She was a preacher in the non traditional form
Even though she was busy with her kids and her life,
She was a friend who didn't give up,
a friend who was there if you needed her
She cared for people.
She saw the broken and knew they needed hope.
She was a writer, an artist, a poet...
Yet so few knew
In her life, she emanated the Joy of the Lord and the Glory of God
When she laughed it made others smile,
When she cried it stirred compassion to reach out
How do I want to be remembered when I die?

I want to be remembered for the passion behind my words,
the sparkle behind my eyes
the compassion overflowing in my veins
and the lover of beauty seen through the eyes of our God.
I don't want to be remembered as a sad story,
a story of regret, a wasted life
I want to be someone people will miss,
because they will miss the passion and beauty that was placed inside me
I want to be sure people know that I love them,
not just with weak human love, as great as it may feel at times
but with a greater love than I can make sense of

I believe the person of Jesus had so much more beauty and integrity and love,
laughter, joy, faith, encouragement than we can ever really fathom.
I want to be like him.

How do you want to be remembered?

A  beautiful girl I want you to know...

Friday, September 14, 2012

I Wish You Knew

a photo i took in door county, wisconsin this summer
I wish you knew that God is so faithful.
I wish you could understand the trouble I have seen,
and how I have come out alive.
I didn't want to come out alive.
I practically begged to die, so I didn't have to do it myself.
But God, he knows me better than I know myself.
I wish you knew that no matter what you go through,
you can have and will have that ever present help,
in your time of need.
What is your need?
Do you need joy
A friend
Healing in your body
Healing in your heart
A relationship to be restored
Because he is here, he is there, right where you are.
But the question is: are you willing to ask?
He said seek and you will find,
knock and the door will be opened,
ask and you will recieve
Don't be too proud
Dont feel like you are too far away
or that you know too little about God
Don't feel like because you have had too many questions,
or you are unsure about who he is,
that he won't hear you.
He will. He does not lie. He does not change.
Lately I have felt lonely. I go through spurts.
Highs and lows.
And i've forgotten to go to my source of friendship,
joy, and peace of mind.
How is it that I think i have it all together
so much so, that i forget to ask for his help?
I wish more of you knew, what I know.
That he loves you. He loves me.
no matter what
no matter who
no matter when.
He has not changed. We may change.
We may goes through ups and downs,
questions and answers,
trials and triumphs.
But He does not change.
I wish you knew that  I love you too.
That I am here for any of you.
If you want a friend, I am here
If you want prayer, please ask me.
If you want to laugh, I try to do that too.
As long as you know, that I am not perfect.
And the joy I experience,
it comes from within.
It comes from the Lord.
I wish you knew.
You can have this joy too.
The lonliness, the sad times, the struggles...
all pale in comparison to when I let him know.
God, I need your help. I am sorry I didn't ask sooner.
I am sorry I tried to take this upon myself,
when you told me to cast my cares on you.
I wish you knew too,
to give it to God,
whatever it is.
He is real. You've wondered. Weren't sure.
But he is.
I am proof his love exists.
His patience & kindness.
His help is here.
I wish you knew.

Have a beautiful weekend, friends.

I linked up with Alissa for Coffee Date on Rags to Stitches
and Casey Leigh for What's On My Heart

Friday, July 20, 2012

Brand New Dress

Weary these walls, so far tattered and torn
Glimpsing through the salt water seas
Eyes desperate with gasping and pleas
Breaking silence of her soul left forlorn
Wincing the burn; left the tear stained disguise
Masterfully creates that what you see
Never should know what is deemed so lonely
High the tide it rolls in; waves, they would rise
Taken upon ones self, a guilty brow
Drowns, pursuit a gesture; cries SOS
Master, commander grasps her hand to hold
Wrapped arms, shelter found; comfort and rest
Glanced she back, but only a moment left
Memory lost, wearing a brand new dress

-Julie Marie

Debating on whether or not to explain this. To me, poetry, basic Dr Suess rhymes aside
are interesting to try and figure out. And to be honest, for the life of me
I simply can't do it most of the time.
I thrive on having a decent amount of art and creativity in my blood.
But I don't claim to be the most cultured person in the world,
yet I love to write. So, I try things. New things, like this. A Sonnet..
And for the most part, no one sees any of it.
But I do it, to see if it works for me. 
I loved writing it, and it sure as heck made sense to me.
Haha. Don't know if it will to anyone else though.
If you have a guess, let me know...I'm curious.
I honestly just want to know if I stand a chance at diversity in writing =)

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