Saturday, March 30, 2013

If You've Ever Lost a Baby...

Today it is the 11 year anniversary of the day we found out our baby girl, Naomi went to be with Jesus.  I was 18 weeks pregnant and got to hold her tiny body and see her tiny fingers and toes, ears and nose. Eleven years and 3 kids later,  it still brings me to tears when I think about the devastation we felt. And my heart goes out to any person who has every  lost a baby at any stage during or after pregnancy. It's  never easy and no one can really understand, even if they've been through it.   I wrote a little more about it last year HERE if you want to  read it...  I wrote this for Jeff on Fathers Day that year and wanted to share today...
Maybe you can relate...

Still Daddy's Little Girl 

A single tear streamed down your cheek
on that very happy day
the day Mommy told you the exciting news
that I was on the way

I couldn't wait to meet you
for a big kiss and maybe a twirl
Because I know that I could be rest assured
that I'd be Daddy's little girl

Remember on the special day
when you heard my heart beating so strong?
What you didn't know, Daddy, it was beating for you
The time we'd meet it wouldn't be long

I may have been so tiny
but Mommy, she felt my touch
I wanted you both to know
that I loved you so very much

Then one day I woke up
to only see colors so bright
Would it, would this be the day?
Would my daddy be holding me tonight?

Then came sweet Jesus, he picked me up
and cradled me in His arms
He told me that in this place called Heaven
to me would come no harm

He told me that it might be a little while
til my Daddy could give me a kiss
But on that wonderful day
I would live in eternal bliss

Daddy, I know you were sad
it felt like the end of the world
But, please Daddy, always remember
I'm still Daddy's little girl

I want you to know that I have your eyes
and Mommy's long dark brown hair
Mommy, she says you have a silly smile
But on my lips your same smile is always there

Daddy, you may never see my first step
or catch me when I fall
You may never take me to my first day of school
or my graduation at all

You may never walk me down the aisle
on my beautiful wedding day
or be there for me to hug
when I learn my own baby is on the way

Daddy, I don't know why we've been parted
But I love you so very much
I wish we could be together for just a moment
so my soft baby skin you could touch

But Daddy, I still have a big hug for you
I'm sending it down your way
Because I'll always be Daddy's little girl
So Daddy, Happy Father's Day...

Written for my husband on Fathers Day, 2002
I love you with all of my heart...


Erin said...

Wow, friend... I'm so so sorry for your loss. Love your heart and that poem is just beautiful. xo

Kerrie Williams said...

This is beautiful Julie.

Pure Joy said...

So beautiful!
May peace be with you today and always.

Breenah said...

I read the first part, but can't read the rest because I already started to cry. Definitely thinking about you.

Sue said...

This is beautifully written.

LWLH said...

This was beautiful, so sorry for you loss.

Peter Maynard said...

This goes out to anyone who has suffered from anything tragic or believes a miracle didn't come - this includes you also, Julie. God bless. :)

Sandra said...

I a so sorry for your loss. This poem is breathtaking, literally, and I cried reading it.
I have to add that I truly think this is one of God's gifts to you, you are an unbelievable writer/poet. :)

kate said...

what an amazing poem! I cried the whole way through it.. thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece of writing.. you have incredible talent. We lost our precious wee girl at 17 weeks two years ago.. it was the most heartbreaking time of our lives. She was our 6th child and it was just devastating.. we went on to have 2 more miscarriages before God blessed us with son who has just turned 3 months old. It truly makes you appreciate how much of a gift our children really are.. I am loving your blog by the way, I found it through Jami Natos blog where you had left a comment that resonated with me! Thank you for the honest, humble and gorgeous way you share your heart.. you are a treasure..

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