Thursday, March 20, 2014

Girl Without A Bff

In this day of social media.
Can I just say it?
There are things you find out.
Things you don't always want to find out.
                                 Things you could have gone without knowing.

Inside jokes between mutual friends, only being semi-revealed on facebook.
You can feel the laughter on both ends, as each sits by their phone or computer giggling 'their' joke.

Photos of people who went out and had fun without you. Smiles, laughter, meals.
Wait, this happened last night? Why didn't anyone invite me?
Why, you ask, well you're not a BFF, of course.

Then you've got plans being made by people, events accidentally made public,
and just in the knick of time, before they realized they needed to switch it to private:
you realize you were not invited...
and bam.
suddenly, the event is private.
Ooops, you weren't supposed to see that. You're not on 'that' list of friends.
You're just a facebook friend, didn't you know? 

What about community & networking on instagram or twitter?
Sometimes it's just another form of saying, "This is an A & B conversation, you can C your way out."
You chime in with what you thought was a clever or funny or kind remark or suggestion...
Maybe, just maybe... you will get a favorite, not an actual reply, but a click of a star.
Is that all you are worth?

And my personal worst is this: the proclamations of everyone and 'their' BFF.
"Me and my BFF are doing this..."
"Just hanging out with my BFF..."
"A joke only a BFF would get..."
"Hey guys, stop by and meet my bloggy BFF..." (double whammy)
It's a good way of saying, "I might consider you a friend. But I already have a list topper."

Why is it my personal worst?
Well, I have a confession. I don't have a BFF. 

I have 2 sisters & a brother that I love. I have friends I confide in. 
I have a mom who I love to hang out with. I have a husband that I laugh with and cry with. 
I have kids that I do stuff with non-stop. But I don't have a girl. One single girl. Or even a group of girls that I can put up a picture and say "Me and my BFFs."
I can say, "me and my girls" or "girls night" but I can't post of picture, nor can anyone post a picture of me and say with conviction, "THIS girl IS my one and only BFF."

Social Media has a really quick way of pointing out how alone you are.
(or at least making you feel that way).
It has a way of making you feel less than...
well, less than everyone else. Is 'her' life better?
There is a whole world of things happening outside your home and family
that 10 years ago you were perfectly happy not knowing about.
Ignorance was bliss, yes?
But now you know. Because you see everything.
You know it sucks. I know it sucks.
It just sucks to see the world revolve and you suddenly feel clueless. And left out.

So what do you do about it? 
How do you feel like you matter in this social media world that may make you feel like you don't?
                               You become confident in what you do have and who you do matter most to.

I can tell you without a doubt, my kids world revolve around me.
I can tell you without a doubt, my husband will do anything for me.
I can tell you without a doubt, my parents will always do their best to help me out...
I can tell you without a doubt, my siblings will always talk with me and listen to me...

But most importantly, even when every other person fails me.....
even when those people seem to let me down...
When my kids are disobedient or disrespectful, when my husband grumbles if I ask him to do anything, when my parents aren't able to help, when my friends have their other friends to do stuff with, when my siblings have their own friends & families,
when it seems like the entire world is going and moving along without me...

I still have someone that I know is completely head over heels crazy for me.
He backs me up in any situation I feel helpless.
He gives whatever I need when I am lacking.
He wraps his arms around me when I am crying.
When I'm weak, he becomes strong for me.

He is my confidence in the face of adversity.
He is my guarantee in the face of uncertainty.
He is my positive in a world of negative.

He is who I see when I look in a mirror. I don't see loser. I don't see lonely.  I don't see less than.
I see Jesus. Name above all names. Greater than. Victorious. Confident. Strong. Encourager. Friend.
And I see beautiful.

I give my everything because I am lacking for nothing...
Because I am made in his image. And that is who he is.

"You show that you are a letter from Christ, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. " 2 Corinthians 3:3


Jeanette@CraftyInCrosby said...

You are a beautiful woman of God, both inside and out.

wendipooh13 said...

seriously this is one of the best written, totally true posts I have read in a long time.. totally how I feel. My husband is my BFF but yes I always feel like I'm missing out cuz I don't have a girl BFF or my big girls club like everyone posts on FB!!! I do have my kids, my parents, and a sister is who amazing!!! thanks for posting this!!!!

Nay said...

I really loved this!

Ashley @ Forgetful Momma said...

Great post! I totally feel left out not having a BFF anymore. Being the first of all my friends to have children cut back the list of friends and then moving half a country away from everyone I know set me apart from everyone. Life is lonely as a stay at home mom in a new place knowing no one. But I have my kids and hubby so I have all that I need and love!

Heather @ It's A Long Story said...

Oh, I love this. So, so, SO much!

Analilia said...

Thank you! I totally feel like this all of the time. I miss having a BFF. I miss having my "Go To Girls." After reading this, I dont feel so alone now. Thank you!

Lily @ Ride The Spiral

Anonymous said...

This is awesome and exactly how I feel sometimes!

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