Showing posts with label life lately. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lately. Show all posts

Monday, June 30, 2014

You're Mean, Mom

You're mean...(pause), Mom.

I have been pondering over what to write about these girls. I wanted to share their new pictures, but I figured I had to say at least something. And I've been thinking over what it means to have daughters, to be a daughter and finally to be a daughter of God. Thinking I could in some way end this post with some grand inspirational challenge to myself or to the world wide web.

Instead, Leila comes in my room and out of nowhere says "You're mean...(pause), Mom.
What on earth? 

This happened right after Jada came in and asked me to tickle her edge of her thumb. She didn't so much ask as she just stuck it in front of my face, but I knew what she wanted. (She ripped her thumb nail and it hurts so she has been asking me to tickle it.)

So this is what being a mom is all about? Thumb tickling and being told your mean for no reason.
Good times.

This past weekend a few friends and I were sitting at the park with my mom, feeding off her wisdom. 
I love my mom. She is hilarious. And it's usually on accident. She was raised on an indian reservation and she talks very "up northy." She pronounces things funny sometimes,  says things that come out wrong and sort of blunt,  but it's hilarious and does things like wears two shoes from two separate pairs in a shoe store... on accident.

Ok, that shoe thing happened before I was born, but it's a good example of the kind of things that make us kids laugh all the time. If I gave a recent example,I would probably be the 38 year daughter getting scolded.

I'm convinced parents never stop instructing and redirecting their kids no matter how old they are.
And it should be that way. To some degree. Because they are always making efforts to help them in every other area of life.

Anyways, so my friends, mom and I are at the park just talking and we are kind of in a circle around my mom and she is just simply being "Mom" and giving her input. She cuts to the chase when she is talking and out of her mouth comes a fountain of profound wisdom. I'm so glad I'm not even joking. My mom and I are different in the way we present our thoughts, I guess. But I value her advice and wisdom so much because I know it comes from a place of sound experience and intimate prayer and time spent with God.

And I know that I want my daughters (and sons) to think the same way of me. I'm not just the mean mom who is good for tickling thumbs, but I am the mother they can laugh with (and laugh at), learn from and lean on when they need me, no matter how old they are.

My sister was laughing so hard when she noticed how we were all sitting around her gleaning from her vast river of knowledge and insight. But it's so not taken for granted. I hope she knows that.

I'm watching Jada quickly approach her pre-teen years and it shows in her attitude (not to mention Wesley) and I listen to them and I remember myself at that age. I remember how sassy I was. How disrespectful I was. I was obedient, but had a sassy mouth. Standing on the outside, sitting on the inside I guess you could say. But when I hear my kids talk to me, it makes me nervous some days, because I think back to my relationship with my mom when I was a teenager and I think "Oh brother, they sound just like me..."

I never ever want to hear my kids tell me I'm a mean mom or they hate me.
It's not cute now...and it definitely won't be cute when they are teenagers.

Before I had kids, there was a big part of me that hesitated on even having them simply because I remembered how horrible I was and I see what my parents had to deal with as us kids were all going through our stages of life. It scared me. I didn't want my feelings hurt by my own children, nor did I want the responsibility of making sure they turned out happy and successful once they were grown.

Let's face it, that is a HUGE undertaking. One I am learning now.
And I hope I am doing it right.
What if I'm not?

I am here for my kids. My life is a service to my family. That is who God made me to be. But in return, for the most part, they are adoring me. And I treasure it. They want me, want to be with me, want to sit in my bed with me while I type, want to go to the store with me, want me to snuggle them,  want me to lay with them until they fall asleep. They adore me. And I'm glad they do. Because I adore them.

As much as I love these girls adoring me now and hanging on my every word (even when I'm not talking to them)... my ultimate goal is for them to love and respect me enough to continue to listen to me and adore me when they are grown women. I want to be to them, who my mom is to me. So in turn, they look at my life and the example I set...and want to be that person in their own families.
Does that make sense?

Maybe we will go through some rough spots. Maybe they will sass me now or think they know it all when they are teenagers. But when they become young adult women (and young men) I want them to be able to come to me without being scared. I want them to know I pray for them. I want them to be able ask me things confident I have their best interest at heart. I want them to see me putting God first. I want to set the example of who they want to be like.

That is what I want for my daughters.
They sure are cute now. All my kids are.
And my sister can make them look like little rockstars. And I love it.
But I want them to be happy. Really happy. Temporary happy is fun. And it's fun to surprise my kids with things they want. But as all us grown ups know, what we value now is quite different than what we thought was important as kids.

Photos taken by Joanna Photography.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Adjusting My Sails

There is a part of me that loves the storm. The fearful  boom of thunder and  strike of lightening, the howling wind and the crashing waves have the potential to drown you, leaving you breathless  or it has the potential of forcing you to learn how to swim. And swim well. You know that saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? It's truth has sort of been screaming silently to me through my adult years. Life has a way of embedding strength into you once you are all grown up, if you let it. You can stand taller, run faster and know that the storm came, you made it through and you are stronger...and now onto the next step.
 It's been raining and storming here a lot lately. And while I love the sort of cozy intimacy a summer storm can bring, mostly lately it's been sucking, because a storm for us now is cold and dreary and moody, and it  means our roof is leaking into our house.  We've got buckets strategically placed throughout...and in that way, storms suck.  These storms really suck. In a passing complaint to my husband about it, his reply was "I bet the farmers are happy" because a storm also can mean growth and new life.
When the storm seems to sort of suck the life out of us in one moment, knowing you are still standing afterwards brings forth a new confidence in yourself and an opportunity.  And that is the part of the storm I thrive on. The experience, the growth and the ability to adjust my sails and head in a new direction. In a sea of tears last night I allowed myself to embrace reality and come to terms with some of the damage these storms have cost me throughout my life, some I buried deep and far away in my past. Some I didn't even realize existed. It all seemed so small at the time in comparison to what other people face and in effort to bury bitterness and keep smiling,  I forced myself to be okay.  Yet somehow these small things affected my whirlwind of a life and emotion in recent years, with me not even knowing it.  
And suddenly I do.  I am thankful I am still standing. And realizing that I am, is bringing me to an adjustment of my sail. Pointing me in a whole new direction.

To Be Continued...

Monday, February 4, 2013

Life Lately

Hey guys, lately my life has been full. Full of four things.

1) Lots Of Alterra, Jeff's favorite Milwaukee coffee shop (yes a post is coming about that this week)
2) My birthday. Celebrate! I turned 37! 3) Lots of church this week. I've been there 9 times this week alone.We had a series of amazing meetings. One of the speakers is friends with the Beibers.
So my girls thought that was pretty cool, when he shows us pics on his cell phone.
4) My project to reach out to 2 women in Ethiopia and get them off the streets and give them hope. Read more about that HERE. And please help if you can in any way. Only 26 more days to reach my goal! 
What have you guys been up to lately??
Haning out with my hubs on my birthday doing some selfies...

Playing a weird game that Jada made up for me to play on my birthday.

One of my favorite places in Milwaukee, Comedy Sportz, of course, for my birthday.

An afternoon hanging out with mommy and where else, but Alterra.

My cup runneth over. My kids giving me homemade gifts on my birthday

I took Wesley skating for the first time this past week. He loved it so much after he got over the first tantrum when he fell.

Hanging out after dinner on my birthday at a coffee shop in Milwaukee.

My sister preaching in church about what Love Is. She rocked that message.

Sleeping on Daddy's shoulder in church.

Getting some pretty snow finally.
Most importantly, more than my 2 ladies the hope of freedom from a life on the streets.
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