Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Things We Cannot Change

There comes a time when we have to move on.
To accept that things aren't always going to be the way we want them to be.
People aren't always going to be who we think they should be.
Life isn't always going to treat us fairly.
We all have people in our lives who simply don't apologize for things
that were said or done that hurt us.
So we learn to accept that, this is just how it is.
We learn to be "the one to apologize" just to smooth things over.
Being frustrated, holding grudges, begging them to change, to apologize, to explain...
will never mean anything, because it was You doing the work
that someone else never thought to do on their own.
Or it was never in their heart to do..
Change has to happen from the inside out,
not from the outside in.
It's sometimes a hard lesson to learn, and mentally exhausting,
learning that we cannot change people.
People have to want to change. People have to want to say "I'm sorry."
And if they don't, they don't.

How do you accept that sometimes you will never get an apology, an explantion,
an "I handled things poorly" or an "I should have never said that to you."
I was talking to a friend long ago, and she told me "Julie, some people will
never give you closure, never give you an apology. You just have to learn to accept
that is the way it is, it's the way they are."
That is something that has always bothered me, not just in my own life, but when I see family
or friends obviously hurt, sometimes their lives nearly destroyed
 and the people that hurt them are so stubborn, that they never
give the simple closure of an true heartfelt apology or explanation...
so instead they have to learn to move on without it,
to love that person they way Jesus loved us...

I never understood how people can think they are so right,
or perhaps they are so prideful
that they simply will not apologize for hurt they have caused others.
It pretty much drives me crazy,
because if I have hurt someone, I want to know about it.
So that I can apologize for it. So I can make things right, instead of letting people
just move on with their lives being forced to accept what I have done.
No, I'd much rather them accept my apology.

They questions is how do YOU want to leave things?
Knowing YOU did your very best? Tried YOUR hardest?
I know I do. I want to give life my all. Give people my all.
And If I mess up, I want to fix it. 
Circumstances happen in life.
Sometimes we end up jobless. Sometimes we end up broke.
Sometimes we end up sick or our family members do.
Sometimes we end up broken hearted.
Sometimes our friendships fall apart... our relationships... 
Some of these things we can change by the sweat of our brow, trying to make
things right over and over, perhaps a change in our diet or lifestyle. 
Some of these things we cannot. The changes happen to us,
and we have to accept it. Even though it is usually never easy.
And sometimes we have to make choices, whether we want to be at home 
with our family while having little to no money, 
or whether we want to live a little more "high maintenance"
 only to then miss out on the precious moments with the people we live for.
There have been changes in my life, that I have learned to accept,
that for now anyway, this is how it is.
Perhaps in the future things will change. Actually because I know my God,
I KNOW things will change, but while we are in this season,
I continue to grow & learn and rely on Him.
But these things I am not willing to "go out of my way" to change in this moment,
even though I could. Even though at one time things were different, 
We had more. But I've gotten used to having less material "things"...
but in return I've gained so much more in the areas I really needed.
There have also been things that I have wished & tried desperately to change
that I simply had no power over,
and every day it is a decision to accept, it is what it is... 
and it's time to move on. 

We have to know what we want out of life to know what we are willing to 
change and what we are not.
We have to realize what the end result will be in our decision.
And we have to know that we can never change peoples hearts
and some circumstances we can not change on our own.
Only God can change a heart.
Sometimes, Only God can bring restoration to broken body, a lifeless friendship,
an empty bank account.
There are certain things that as bad as we wish we could change them,
only God can change them. Only God can open those doors.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately.
Thinking over my life, and talking to other people.

I've had to pray, Lord, If I cannot change this, either you have to work on this situation
for me...or you have to give me the peace of mind to accept that this will never turn out the way
I want it to. I only have to accept that your plans for me are far better than my plans for me.

I guess it is my version of the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot and the wisdom to
know the difference.

Are you thinking of things in your life that you wish you could change?
People you wish would say I'm sorry? Circumstances you have no control over?
Or perhaps circumstances you do have control over but haven't been willing to change yourself?
I know I am. All sorts of things come to mind.
All I know is if I trust in God, ask him to show me where I, myself, can change to either accept
certain things, or to better certain things, then I can have the peace I long for and no
matter what the situation is in my life, I asked Him to help me do my best.
Ultimately, my faith is in God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding
In all your ways, acknowledge him and He will make your path straight...
Proverbs 3:5

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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I thought thats what bloggers did...

Either you are going to hate me after reading this,
or love me after reading this, because you totally get what I am saying.
Or maybe you will still laughing to yourself because when you
first saw the word "bloggers" your brain said "boogers" like mine did.
But I'm totally going out on a limb just going to be me for a minute,
and write what I wanna write, yo.
So, given the fact that we all have our moments when we think we are hilarious.
You know those moments where you are typing and giggling to yourself,
and you come to the brilliant knowledge that you probably should be a comedian...
And you are on twitter, or facebook, or email and wish you could
strike through half of your post, because to a blogger you know the 
strike through means you think you sho IS funny. Mmmm...
So I wish I could have striked through half my brain today
as I was running around changing diapers, getting cups, pulling kids off of tables.
The usual stuff. 
Because as I was doing all this,  my brain was racking all
the lame stuff I have started doing since I start blogging.
In the words of my very educated 8yr old son, "What the what?!"
Speaking all my random thoughts of how phony I've been to Jeff,  
he was messing around on his phone & grunting quietly in response
 listening attentively as he always does when I talk to him about blogging.
And I was telling him with this giant smile on my face, a few giggles mixed in...
and it was obvious I thought I was the best ever. I mean the BEST of everything.
Yet, he couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to humor me and at least crack a smile.
But it was either I tell him or the toddler I was babysitting..
Although I can guarantee you she would have definitely laughed.

Anyways, a few weeks ago, I was tweeting. 
Ok, lets stop right there and talk about tweeting. I never EVER tweeted before I had a blog.
I had an account and had no clue how to use it really. If I were to use it,
it would simply be to update my facebook status and why couldnt I just update my
facebook status with my facebook?  I did NOT get that!
I remember asking a few random bloggers "Ok, I just started a blog, what the heck do I do?"
and Kara from The Mom Diggity actually is the one who emailed me back.
LOVE her by the way. She really IS the bomb diggity. She told me that bloggers are big tweeters.
You need to tweet and connect with people. So I did.
Shortly after, I got to know Ashley from 5ohWifey a little and I posted something about my 
blog on my twitter from my super old school phone. I typed in the 40404 and tweeted
to my little hearts desire. Ever been there?
And she tweeted me back and said "Girl, You need to link that to something."
And I was like "Oh, uhhh, ok... ooops" (I feel dumb.) "I don't really know how to do that."
ANYWAYS.. back to "a few weeks ago, I was tweeting."
The hype and girl talk of the night was about the Influence Conference,
and naturally speaking, I wriggled my way into some conversation...
I start talking to Jenna from The Life Of The Wife...and I said to her
"You gotta go! So I can give you a hug!"
And she says to me, "I'm not a hugger, just letting you know."
And for a brief moment, I had an epiphany... and I was like
What the crap am I talking about? I'm not a hugger either!
Why on earth would I say that?!!
So I said to her, "I'm not a hugger either, I just said that because I thought
that's what bloggers do."
(side note: did I just drop names of 3 super awesome big time  bloggers to make myself 
look cool? absolutely.)
And for some reason I thought I was hilarious, because I was so brutally honest 
with myself and her! That REALLY IS the reason WHY I said that.
Because that's what you say right? Right? Sweet Girl?
Huh? Huh? Did you catch that, Sweet Friend?
I've been catching a whole lot of "sweet girls" and "sweet friends" come out of my
fake little wanna be blogger tweeting fingertips,
and there is NO WAY ON YOUR LIFE you would ever hear me call you 
SWEET GIRL in real life. I might call you one of these following terms of endearment:
Playa, Gangsta, Guuurrrlll, 
You may even catch a "ma lady" come out of me...
or just your name...
More often than not, you're just gonna get a "Hey."
No hug, No Hi-Five, No fist pump... just your run of the mill
plain ole ordinary "Hey" followed by a long awkward silence.
(Ok: quick clarification. If I havent seen you in a long time or something like that
I will hug you, but I dont regularly hug my friends.)
I always found it so awkward when Rachel and Monica (on FRIENDS) kissed 
(like a friendship type) kiss as one of  them left the apartment. 
I told one of my closest friends, "There is no way on this planet, I will ever kiss you...
Just letting you know now in case you were planning on it. 
You're lucky if you get a hug outta me."
So WHY am I being so fake? 
For the record, I have absolutely NO PROBLEM with someone calling me
or anyone sweet friend or sweet girl, or whatever terms of endearment are
YOURS...because if it is YOU to say that, then you really ARE probably the sweetest,
kindest girl ever and I certainly cherish your heart.
If that is in your nature, than I welcome your "sweet friend" with a
 uncomfortable smile and a sideways hug. xoxo
But if YOU ever catch ME calling YOU sweet friend or sweet girl again,
I give you permission to call me out on twitter, humiliate me on your blog, virtually smack me...
do what you gotta do to knock some sense into me...
Because that is simply not me. And I am telling you right now,
Somebody has most likely replaced me with a fraud. Wink Wink.
You will know if I feel comfortable with you
 if I call you "Rock Star," or say "OMG, I LOVE YOU!!" Maybe a "Guuuurrrlll, you hot."
You may get a "Whatevs" or a "Holla"
I'm more of a 'Carrie' from King Of Queens.
I've got a bit of a feisty, sarcastic, spunky exterior...
But I swear to you on my life... everything I write about  
loving big on people, believing in people, seeing beauty inside of you 
is absolutely the REAL ME! 
My encouragement at times may come in the form of
"Awesome! Rock N Roll, Baby!!" But it is still in the most sincerest form.

I mentioned a few times on twitter and in  my recent "talent" VLOG that I've been
feeling a little burnt out lately. Mainly because my heart TRULY IS to love and support people .
I've been doing a lot of what I think people would be happy with, 
forgetting to just be me sometimes.
(of course it IS me to be there for people, but you know what I mean)
I miss me. I miss writing. Being sarcastic. Being encouraging.
Whatever. I miss it sometimes in exchange for being the "counterfeit" version of me.
I really spent much of my life trying to please people,
and just over the past few years, I grabbed a hold of WHO I AM...
and people better learn to like this girl, because it's me.
I may be different than you, but I am me..
and this is who God made me to be.
So I am taking a vow: for the sake of my sanity...
to stop trying so hard to be the girl people like. and just be the girl I am...
and hopefully that WAS the girl you like...wink wink.
Really "the fraud" has only shown up the past 2-3 weeks, so for those of who
you who have been around awhile, trust me, you do KNOW me!
And if I meet you, I WILL hug
This is my vow: I will never do something again or say something again, 
because "I thought that's what bloggers did." I will be me. 
Real. Sarcastic. In Love With Jesus. Lover of Beauty & People. 
ain't nobody gonna make me be your clone... me.
For the record: pictures are almost NEVER me. They are staged.
I'm always messing with some kind of 
tint or effect, erasing some wrinkle, zit, grey hair. Whatever.
You will see the REAL me, when you see me. For now, you will 
just have to love me for my heart! =)
(or I guess my videos are a little better resemblance of me, but still
slightly enhanced by technology) xo

Monday, July 2, 2012

If I Could Pack Myself In A Suitcase

Ok, excuse me if I am making major assumptions in this post
But I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there, in public, anyways...

Not too long ago, I dont even know when, I 'm pretty sure less than 2 months ago, 
Christina from TicoandTina found me in the land of blog... (I think) ?
and I made my way to their blog... and I immediately felt connected to them.
And I am pretty sure the connection was mutual (hence the assumption)???
First of all they make THESE videos. Sounds crazy, but it's totally my thing.
For those of you that know me: I have close to 70 videos on my Youtube channel.
2 of My FAVES are HERE and HERE
Some crazy silly, some made out of boredom, some vlogging, some dancing, some singing..
whatever, they are up there for the humiliation of myself
and the judgement of all.

But it's simple, if you love doing "that kinda thing"...playing with all that creativity
rolling around on the inside of you."
It's probably there because God placed it there.
Anyways, on top of that, one of my husbands main jobs is Video Editing.
So I can appreciate anyone who has that sorta artistic blood running through their veins
or of course anyone who can just be crazy and sing and dance in their car videos...
You know like I did HERE.. .
or Like Christina does HERE..
So then after a little bit of stalking investigating,
I find out that they are...What???.. doing a tour?  
A tour for what? Are they musicians? 
Touring the Country singing in Coffeehouses?
How do I put this in my own words?
They are using what God has obviously instilled in them, 
to inspire others. To dare people to dream, chase those dreams.
Their Organization: The Beauty of One
First of All, how amazing is that? One person, having so much beauty inside of them!!!
And their tag line is : Life is a Blank Canvas, Paint an Adventure!
  They are traveling from city to city with their 2 kids this summer, and 2 interns...
and encouraging people to live bigger! Because God is bigger!
I love the quote they have on their BLOG header!
"You can't dream bigger than God. You should be more concerned with holding God
back with your small dreams!" 

They are taking a camera to  the people that have DREAMS but are too scared to follow them,
or people that have been working hard to chase their DREAMS,
Or people that are currently living out their dreams in their own ADVENTURE!
and they are interviewing people, loving people, taking lots of pics and video...
and blogging their way through this journey.
And in the end of it all, will make an online documentary of sorts,
and are hoping to spark adventure in the lives of many more people!
Because that adventure, that dream, that gift, that creativity..
lies within them, and within YOU for a reason!
And I believe as David and Christina pursue THEIR adventure,
 this will only the very beginning of many other 
adventures to be pursued by so many others.
(By the way, check out their planned tour HERE...
and if you know ANYONE that would fit one of these categories...
You can NOMINATE them for an interview of THEIR adventure!!!)

Can I tell you this in all honesty? When I read their purpose and saw their videos... 
Their plan, their hearts... knowing this is something I can say I really really believe in,
(MAINLY because I really believe in people, no matter who you are)
I was really moved...Truly.
Because if there is only one thing that has been poured out of my heart
since starting this little blog, it has been that YOU have purpose,
YOU are beautiful, YOU can something AMAZING with YOUR life!
This tour they are doing, "The Blank Canvas Tour"
is EVERYTHING that is inside of me that has been dying to come out
for years, but has just made it's way out recently through this blog...
(not to mention some opportunities at our church in the creative department.)
I hope that if you are reading this and your niche is not necessarily creative,
you can still appreciate the desire to follow your dreams, 
to reach after what is in your heart... 
because that is what David & Christina are doing.
Obviously, if I could pack myself in a suitcase  
and tag along with them, I would.
But then I'd have to pack my 3 kids and husband in too...
and 11 people in one car... hmmmm, I dont know..
Plus I don't know them well enough to know if they have B.O or not would actually
like me in real life.
Seriously, I am so jealous of this opportunity they are taking.
HOWEVER, they have asked me to join their team, virtually.
Which basically means, I get to tell them where to go, what to do...
who to interview, what to eat, and what to wear.. 
No, this means.. I get to support them, and I get to use my own
creativity to do it. And I'm excited too..
Does my agreeing to this have anything to do with the fact that being a
means they get to come visit ME here in WI first? Uhhh... maybe?

But, first things first. I pray as you are reading this,
 you understand their heart. 
If not take a closer look HERE at what they are doing!!
And Believe it or not, they are about to embark on this nationwide tour, in ONE week!
 `with 6 people...and currently have $1125 of support.... 
Their goal is $3750. 
Please, ask yourself, ask God...if this is something YOU can support...
Help them pursue their adventure, as they inspire others to pursue theirs...

If you would like to help this AMAZING family do something BIG,
then please contact ME asap...(they are on a time crunch)
You can also help by donating the items listed on the above page.
OR uou can also help by making a purchase at  

Thanks for taking a few minutes to read through this,
and consider this something amazing you can do for the "beauty of one."

The Winner of the "It's Not Even Funny Giveaway" is"
Amy M. from okayeAmy !
Congrats Amy! Shoot me an email!!

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