Word Web Vocabulary

Last week I had a cardiac ablation. Wires were taken through my groin up into my veins and then to my heart to burn out unnecessary tissue that had been causing me to frequently have an irregular heart rhythm. In the days leading up to the procedure, it took everything in me not to hit up google and seek out the risks associated with it. Because with every medical decision made to hopefully improve the quality of your life, there comes a list of risks and almost every one of those lists ends with 'stroke or death.'

But isn't that the way it should be? I mean as far as the human existence goes, we should be compelled to have a better 'quality of life' about us, should we not? Just living it and managing a physical heart rhythm isn't enough. There needs to be more than just breath.

Still the only true and real thing that boosts the quality of our lives is LOVE. Love is our reason for  existing. It's the precise reason for our being alive. Our goal is to love the Lord God, love others, love ourselves. If we don't have love, we are nothing. Remember that?

Be that as it may...love hurts. Although it’s true that a higher quality of life is embodied in love, it can feel risky. Because of the incredible depth of it, there is always that chance that on the other side of love... is pain. And the fear of pain...or ample experience with it...can hold us back from having a genuinely rewarding existence from here on out.
The many facets and types of love can leave us feeling jaded or even battered depending on our exact situation. Parents may have mistreated us. Friends may have back stabbed us. Relatives may have abused us. Our child may have fallen ill. A spouse may have cheated on us. A boyfriend/girlfriend may have left us. A church friend may have talked about us. A leader may have failed us. A loved one may have passed away too soon. A trusted person may have abandoned or betrayed us.

Any of these situations and the plethora of others you may have experienced can leave you feeling afraid to really love again.

Why take the risk? It hurts too bad. We don't like to be hurt. We don't like how people make us feel.  We don't like when people leave us too soon. We don't like to feel disappointed... or worse , completely broken.. So why lay everything on the line to love people if it's only going to leave you wounded? Intentionally or unintentionally.

These past few years have been hard for me. People I loved died. People I loved got sick. People I loved talked. People I loved walked away. Everything in me wanted to shut down. It felt like too much. I didn't want to love anymore. It felt too unreliable. The moment I felt some certainty  was the moment I'd feel myself sink and my heart ache all over again.
I didn't want to allow love while the pain that resulted from it threatened to wear me down. Over and over, I'd say no more. No more to letting my guard down. My heart had become too fragile.

But that would mean I'm just existing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Day after day. Year after year.
I would barely survive. I would become numb to the beauty around me.
There would be no real quality to my life and the quantity of my days would feel like an eternity.
I would never grow or learn anything.  I would never laugh with someone, or cry for that matter...
I would never feel amazing. I would never feel much at all.
Or at least I would tell myself that.

That is not the life we are built for. This time here on this earth is not for us to hold back and guard ourselves. But rather to continue to stretch and to pour into others, even if there are risks involved. True there may be no certainty in love as far as who, what, when and how much of a 'return' you'll receive on your investment into another human being, if anything.

But that doesn't mean we just stop.

Understand this... we are here for a purpose.
Utilizing the LOVE that is instilled in all of us makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives. We are not here to be alone and die never giving our best to someone else. We need to do more than just breathe. We are here for that child. that friend, that parent, that sibling, that significant other. We're even capable of loving strangers. People do it all the time.

Despite our misgivings, bad experiences and our fears. We are capable of choosing love over it all.

Some days I really struggle with the internet. I struggle with the good and bad of it.
Let's face it. There is a lot of bad. There is greasy, dirty, whiny, angry, gossipy & downright sleazy all over the place.  It's gross. It's meant to suck people in.  And it accomplishes what it sets out to do. All we have to do is see a pretty picture or a catchy title and suddenly with the click of a mouse or tap of our phone we are engaged in what so and so thinks about so and so and the 7 reasons why.

And if we are not careful, we begin to feed our hearts with trash. It may not look dirty, but it makes our hearts dirty. We read it. We involve ourselves in argument and debate over it. We dwell on it. We infuriate over it.  And suddenly, Jesus is not first and foremost. This thing is. This issue. This debate. This gossip.

So why do we fall for it?
Why do we spend our time accommodating the patterns of the world? That's not who we are.
Romans 12:2 says  Be not conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing & perfect will.
We are called to be more. We are called to protect our hearts. Do you want to know why?
Because everything we do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23) 
Are we protecting our heart with every click of our mouse?  Are we allowing the life of God to flow out of us?  Or is what flows from our mouths and fingertips something else? 
It's something to think about.

1 Peter 2:9 -"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
What I see here is that God has chosen you. You are prized. You are precious. You are holy and royalty. And you are different. And because of that, you are called to show the goodness of God. That is your purpose here on this earth- to show others his goodness. Whatever you do, whatever you speak, whatever you share, let it bring glory to God alone.

The thing about the internet it has given anyone and everyone a public voice. This can be a good thing if the right people are using it, but more often than not it's doing the opposite. Some people don't know when to keep their mouths closed. Some people entertain idol argument too quickly. And some people just just want to tell the world what they think.
But as a man or woman of God, that is not what we are called to do.
That's not who we are supposed to be.

Yes, we are to defend the gospel, but we should allow the Holy Spirit to guide us into doing so with the right words.



The internet can be an excellent tool if you use it correctly~If your intent is to honor God with your words and not yourself, if your intent is to honor God and not dishonor others. There are certainly very talented speakers and writers and debaters and actors and politicians that have the ability to captivate us and persuade us and entertain us. But talent & persuasion don't equal truth.
Let's not take every word out of every great writer or speaker and cut it up and swallow and digest it as truth just because it's said with eloquence. On that same not, let's not take every word and throw it out just because someone is imperfect. 
If we renew our minds daily with God's word, and ask him to open our eyes, we will know the truth inside of us.  We just will.    And that is what we should be sharing. That truth that brings glory to God. We shouldn't let ourselves to conform to the thoughts and patterns of the world we live in.

Our voice, if we should decide to use it publicly (which most of us do to some degree nowadays if we own any sort of social media account) is to be used to breathe the life of God into any given situation. If we are not using the online voice we have, (however little or big it may be), to bring God glory, what are we using it for? If we are speaking up on this or that, we need to be sure our heart is close to God's heart and our voice is guided by Him. Because when it comes down to it, our opinions are not what matter. We can certainly have them, but they aren't what matter. What matters is bringing God glory. And bringing people to see Jesus.

And likewise, let those who do wish to glorify God, be brave enough to do it publicly. We need more brave people online pointing people to Jesus, not just away from things or people. Give people somewhere to look, not only something to look away from.

Let's ask ourselves this question before we speak, 
"Will they see Jesus in what I am about to say?"
And if the answer is no, maybe we should lay that thought quietly down for awhile and let God work in us what HE wants us to say. Or we can say nothing at all. Sometimes that is better, ya know? It just is. I hold back a lot of my initial thoughts. Because it's just that, it's my thoughts and my reaction to other peoples thoughts. That's all.  And I want to be sure that when I speak it's not hasty and when I speak, it's really very simple, I want people to see Jesus.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you  have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you  have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ."
1 Peter 4:11

The internet isn't going away anytime soon. But as we engage ourselves in it's use, let's not get tangled up in the grossness of it. We need to learn to recognize when what we read or what we say is a ploy meant to shift our focus onto people or ideas rather than the Lord.  Instead, let's use our voice on the internet to boast about the NAME that is far above every other name that calls out to us.
The name of Jesus.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart 
be pleasing in your sight, LORD, 
my Rock and my Redeemer. ~Psalms 19:14

If you would have asked me 5 years ago what my favorite books of the Bible were, I would have answered with confidence "The Epistles."  What I love about the epistles is they are chalk full of instruction on how to get things right in life. Everything from marriage to friendships to parenting to church structure to respecting leaders to loving others to obedience, you can find pretty defined answers of what we should do to live this life gracefully. Sometimes we need structure and definition. Some of us don't like it and we want life to be a free for all, but as for me, a little (or a lot of) instruction is helpful. Life is chaotic and hard enough without always trying to figure out what to do on my own. I gleam from the wisdom of God's word. I want to know what I can do to honor God. Not what I can get away with in dishonor to him. He deserves more. And frankly, so do we. Instruction is better for us...and He knows that.

But something interesting changed in me when I started writing 2 years ago. 
I became more about the heart.
I seem to connect with Gods word with my heart now more than ever before.
Something deep inside me grabs a hold of each word and intently & carefully listens for the heart of God. Where is his heart in these words? His heart is to love me, to give me a better life.
However, I don't just want instruction to want to get my life right for me. It's not all about me. But I want  to live my life for God's glory. Why? Because I love him so...

With me, His word doesn't seem quite so point blank. It's so much more than that. Sometimes I hear people quote or debate scripture and I wonder where the heart is in all those words. Without having intimate fellowship with Jesus, those are just words. Religion. There are certainly guidelines and commandments and such, but if you are a loving participant of your relationship with him, suddenly those things which he asks of us aren't just rules. It's not only about instruction on how to live, but it's communion.
Every act we do in this life as a Christian is (or should be) in response to our love for our Savior. Respecting our spouse is suddenly an act of love to our Heavenly Father, instructing our kids or spending time with them is now an act of love to our Savior, honoring our leaders is honoring the Lord.  Every act of obedience is an act of love and intimacy. And the list goes on. 

Which brings me to say this. I love love love the book of Psalms. I love David. The heart felt in his words get to me. His cry is so desperate and dependent on the Lord. 
I love his honesty with himself and with the Lord. He was honest in his fears. Honest in his failures. Honest in his hurts. Honest in his questions. AND he was honest in his assurance in the Lord. He knew there was hope above and beyond what looked so real and felt so hard to him. And he voiced both to the Lord. There is something about authenticity that invites the reader or listener to grab a seat, sit on the edge and want more. You know what I mean?

It is interesting that when God placed David in the seat of a King, He called him a man after his own heart. He said 'he will do everything I want him to do. We all know David made some big messes after that. Yet he was all about heart.
It was both his love for God in an intimate way and his obedience to 'do what God asked him to do' that made him the man after God's own heart. When you are all about heart, you are all about being candid and genuine. David spoke & loved from his depths. And least that's what I get.

The Bible isn't a mountains of words to memorize or rules to obey, but it's an affection between the Lord and his children.  (And included in every affectionate parents heart for their child is instruction. Yes? Because we want more for our kids. The best in fact.) And I love that place with the Lord. That candid place. That place of genuine love for Him. That place where instruction and obedience is synonymous to intimacy between us and him. It brings life and refreshing.  He is the ultimate person + creator of authenticity,creativity + reliability. He is the King of Kings. He is the life giver. He is the lover of my soul. He's not words we memorize. He is so much more.

If we chase after his heart as David did, we can understand who God is. When we can begin to get real with God, when we get down to the nitty gritty and unmask ourselves to Him (He knows us anyways), his heart is revealed in return. It's not that He doesn't reveal his heart through the Bible or his spirit with us, but so many times we don't understand it. Not really. Even in all our study, if there is no fellowship, it still is just words or rules.

I want to be more like David. A girl chasing after the heart of God.  I want to chase after God's depth like he did. When I talk to God, I try to be candid. I try to be honest with myself about what I am feeling and fearing and loving and disliking so that I can be honest with God. I have fears and questions and failures, yes~ right here and now, not just 5 or 10 years ago... but when I lay them at his feet, He is able to reveal to me each time afresh that He is more than it all.

His heart longs for ours to beat side by side with his. To know him more.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls
all your waves: and breakers have swept over me
By day the Lord directs with his love-
At night, His song is with me
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalms 42:7-8

Deuteronomy 7:9 says 
Understand, therefore, that the LORD your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.

and Isaiah 55:11 says
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.




You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 37:2

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by. Psalm 57:1

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me Psalm 138:7

The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25

But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken! Isaiah 54:17

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

 Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Proverbs 30:5

…For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makes me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:8




and probably one of the absolute best scripture passages on protection is Psalm 91