Thursday, January 10, 2013

When I See You, I See Me

When I see you, I see me
When I see you hiding in your bathroom, in streams of tears
Hoping no one will find out how much pain you are in
but at the same time, frantically wanting someone to ask
someone to care
I know you, because I know me
When I see you desperately pleaing inside of yourself that someone
would just give you a chance
that people would stop criticizing what you have done,
but see you for who God made you to be
for that person you are trying to be
  I know you, I know that person, because I know me

When I see you weeping over the heartache of a little life,
a heartbeat you once carried inside of you
that now beats in heaven and is cradled in the arms of Jesus
You cry, reminding yourself, you will meet your baby one day,
but wondering how you will make it through today,
that promise of one day, still sometimes is not enough
Your tears were once mine
When I hear the silent cry behind a computer screen
and I hear people anxious to laugh with or at you, to question, to wonder, 
or to think you have it all together,
yet all your words, all your pictures that you post don't tell the story
the real story, of a heart isolated and alone
That heart that you live with, I know it well, it once beat inside of me
Because when I see you, I see me 

When I see the half hearted attempt for attention
that kind of attention that makes you feel beautiful and worth something
to someone, for just that moment
but inside knowing that the feeling won't last
because ultimately that someone that gives you that moment, the attention you seek
is longing for the same
I see two hearts, seeking momentary highs and temporary lows
you seek it over permanent satisfaction found in real love
I know that empty heart, oh so well
When I see that guy or girl, disappointed with their life,
disappointed in themselves or how things "turned out"
I know your questions, I've asked the same ones
I see that unsatisfaction, I know you, because I know me
When I see the boredom of life, in your eyes, in your words
the same ole same ole, day in and day out,
I wonder if you know that we are the same
When I see the fear of death, the torment of sickness,
the worries over poverty cloud your tired eyes
My eyes beg you to look into them 
Because you are not alone
I have been there. I have been scared of all these.

I have felt fear, depression, sadness, loneliness, addiction.
I have grasped for attention as a dying man would beg for someone to help him
as his fingernails give way to a mountainside cliff.
I have longed to feel beautiful
I have wanted someone to care
I have wanted to be left alone
But when I see you, I see something else.
I see someone else
I see Jesus, hanging on a cross. Carrying the weight of your pain upon his shoulders.
I see the blood dripping down his face.
I see every cancer, every mental anguish, every hurt, every miscarriage,
every shame, every feeling of senseless purpose as a thorn on his crown of thorns
I see every stripe on his back from where he was whipped,
this innocent man, God in the flesh was whipped
And when I look into your water filled eyes
fearing what will happen to your children, your mother, your father, your friend
in the face of this disease
When I see that silent cry or that obnoxious plea for love,
I see the nails in His hands, the holes in his feet
crying out to you
to tell you 'THIS' is why I did this

DO you see the nails, DO you see the scars,
Do you see the glass embedded into my skin, the thorns that have stripped my brow?
Do you see who I am? I am love. I am peace. I am joy.
Ultimately, I am victory.
The love you need, the help you need, the purpose, the healing, the freedom you need...
It lies in this moment. This day where he let himself become all these things,
these fears, this guilt, these diseases, this heartache, these addictions, these disorders...
so that you wouldn't have to consume it upon yourself
When I look at myself and where I have been, I remember this moment in time
is more than history, it is eternity.
He did it for you.
He did it for me.
Because he knows it's real. Those feelings you feel...
I know It's real,
But that's why a very real God, became a very real man
To die a very real death, with the weight of all these things upon himself.
Yes, when I see you, I see me,
but then when I see me, I see Him...

I hope you do too...


Lenetta Carnes said...


Sarah said...

So beautiful! Something that really touched my heart today... thanks!

Anonymous said...

I think I've read almost everything you've written on here, and this is by far, my FAVORITE. You are so talented, and thanks for sharing that with us all. Truly touched by this today Julie. ♥


Jessi Bridges said...

Absolutely beautiful! This gave me goosebumps.

TicoTina said...

this is great Julie, I totally see an artistic spoken word video here =)

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

Amazing Julie, just absolutely amazing. Your heart is so beautiful friend.

Ashley said...

That was beautiful, thank you for sharing!

Traci said...

Beautiful, Julie. Thank you :)

Sophie @ Cosatto said...

Awww, you two look so gorgeous. Thanks for sharing these with us.

Myranda Barnes said...

These words are beautiful, thank you :)

Erin said...

Wow, this is beautiful and touching. Friend, as I read through, it took alot to not break down and cry. Thank you for sharing your heart - love you!!

Em @ And Nothing Else Matters said...

Amazing. You have such an incredible way with words. Thank you xo

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