This may seem a little long, but bare with me, I have a point =) At some point in time, I dont know when it was, I'm thinking in my 30's... I finally learned who I was. Haha, that sounds funny, but I really do think you go through periods in life where you try to please other people, so you never really find out who you are until you are just sorta over all that...and living YOUR life. you pleased your friends just to fit in, or you tried to please your parents because, well you gotta, you pleased your teachers to get good grades, and as for me, Im a preachers kid, so well I had to sort of be on my best behavior and please those around me, as I suspect a politicians family, or celebrity's family or actually any families might do, if even just to your neighbors....People are just very concerned with what people think in general. I went through a great deal of my life, not even realizing I didnt know myself. I didnt know what my personality was, what really interested ME, what dreams I had, what characteristics I had that could benefit others. I just didnt.. I venture to say, many people go through this and dont even realize it until they went through it, discovered who they are and it shocked them, like ...ooooohhhhh, so THIS is me!!! I didnt even know I was looking for myself!! =) In the last few years, I discovered to simply be ME. If you dont like it, oh well. If I set my sites on pleasing YOU, and I am unhappy, then it's simply not worth it. And I dont think that is how God wants us. He created us each so uniquely beautiful and we each DO have a service to others...but that service isnt simply for their approval, it is to help them and bless them. For so long, I avoided confrontation no matter how much something bothered me. Or I avoided asking questions, no matter how confused I was. Or I avoided my own personality, because somebody might not get it. Thats just so wrong, in so many ways, for so many reasons. On that same note, with sometimes those dreams or talents being different than those I am so close in contact with, I always felt a little out of place. I dont preach. I dont sing. I dont play an instrument. I'm silly and sarcastic and I make alot of jokes at my own expense or sometimes at those I can get away with ;-). I cant speak in public, I can barely speak in private. I tried once to minister to a stranger and I was shaking so bad, the person actually looked at me like she was scared of me, because I was a freak or something! I like making videos and taking pictures and editing and graphics, but what do I do with that, half the time it makes people annoyed with me that I dare to make a video starring myself or take a picture or 200...lol! (Side note: One time though, a few years back, MTV actually contacted me about one of my videos, where I was making fun of McDonalds Drive Thru and they wanted me to be a part of some show they did that made fun of Music Videos...so I guess I was funny?? ) ANNNYYWAYYSSS... PLUS, I am brutally open and blunt about alot, so much so, I probably embarrass people close to me, in fact I know I do! But I cant change who I am based on the approval of others, I can only ask God, "ok God....I need a direction here, I need YOU to use ME how you created ME to be, and I cant fit into anyone else's agenda of who I should be." Speaking for myself, thats just not a fun place to be. In fact, Ive wound up in tears because of it many times.. Two things I want~ 1) I want to please God. 2) I want to be happy in doing so with what he has given ME. I DO see things in myself that God has placed in me, and I love being a wife and a mother, but how on earth am I ever going to go beyond the walls of my own house, or the life that I am accustomed to and pursue those dreams God placed in me when I was a teenager? This is where I have been, living the dream of "I have a dream that someday..." and just watching my life go by, and never really pursuing it. Today I woke up and God was speaking to me concerning moving on past my past and moving forward to obtain his prize. And as I meditated on this throughout the day, These thoughts start forming, coming only from the Lord, of course, and I began to write them down. The funny thing about me, is when something is heavy on mind or I am in deep thought about a topic, I think in "poetry form." Thats one of those weird, most likely God given qualities that I have, that sometimes I'm like "huh? what do I do with that?" Anyways, God shared with me his warmth, his sweet nature, and his encouragement. I was blessed to tears... and I just wanted to share with you, for all those of you who feel stuck in rut with your day in and day out life, THIS may be for YOU too! CliCK on my LOVE NOTES page link above to read what God so sweetly whispered to me =) (Now that you are done reading this, PLEASE scroll to bottom of the page, and click "join to follow" with your yahoo, google or twitter account!) |
Monday, January 30, 2012
Stuck In A Rut???
Posted by
Julie Marie
at
4:11 PM
Labels:
Being You Is Incredible,
God,
inspiration,
life,
motivation
Monday, January 23, 2012
Calm Yo Self Down...
Posted by
Julie Marie
at
3:07 PM
Labels:
humor,
inspiration,
kids,
Kids and Conversations,
life,
parties,
stories
Monday, January 16, 2012
Royalty presents itself...
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Call me crazy, but...
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
That aint pretty
have you ever been caught in that awkward limbo between loving someone so much and not wanting to be mean, but at the same time being realistic and thinking, "ummmm...that aint pretty... "
"cute, maybe. pretty, no."
maybe its your own kid, a niece or nephew, a friends kid...a spouse, sister, whatever.
i actually remember a friend telling me one time "Baby (baby' remains nameless for obvious reasons) is an ugly baby." and they were speaking about their own kid!!!
on that same note, i also know that feeling of not quite finding the right words to say when someone is showing you their brand new pride and joy and all you can say is "awwwww...he/she looks just like ....um...their great grandpa?"
(whom ive never seen, but am just assuming)
Did you ever see that Friends episode, where Rachel has her baby and they are in the hospital the same time as Janice? No one really knows what to say to Janice because apparently her baby is scary looking, and when she walks away, Ross says "did you see the kid on that nose?"
I adore Leila. Jeff teases me and says she is my "favorite" which of course she is not! But she IS my baby so I treat her like she is. I am completely in love with her. But sometimes her pictures frighten me. The above was taken this morning as I was watching a friends kids before school. Naomi was doing a makeover on Leila (and herself)... and quite honestly Leila looked Goth. I dont have a problem with Goth so much, as i have a problem with my 3 year old being Goth. She looked like a creepy Goth baby, and it frightened me. The picture on the right is a scary cross between the "mask from the Scream Movie and a gothic old lady/baby?"
I have this pic of Leila from California this past fall. Spittin image of Benjamin Button. Cute. Yes. She is trying to be cute and smiley.
But she looks exactly like Benjamin Button.
DO YOU LOVE IT OR WHAT? I have my very own baby Benjamin Button =)
(Now
that you are done reading this, PLEASE scroll to bottom of the page, and
click "join to follow" with your yahoo, google or twitter account!)
Posted by
Julie Marie
at
12:00 AM
Labels:
humor,
kids,
Kids and Conversations
Monday, January 2, 2012
the road of insanity leads to laughter
a new year. a new me. is that what i said? pssssshhhh...yeah...right!
thanks for that cheeseburger, big ole glass o pepsi & fries mom ;)
no seriously, i WILL do this!
so here i am... doing this bloggy thing.
the reason? to write, to scrap, to give. (not scrap as in fight, btw, i meant scrap as in scrapbook).
that would be awesome though, hey? to have a blog simply for scrapping?
people on facebook kept telling me i need to write. a book, a blog, something.
thanks to my crazy outlook on the shameless details of what goes on inside of my house...
and my apparent ability to reach inside people's souls and touch them with a dash of compassion
from
what can only come from God. between the two, here i am, with a more
embellished version of my thoughts and my world, than what you may see
in my short facebook status's.
i
think if i dont look at my life and laugh, i could possibly end up in a
nut house. i dont suggest i am any different than any other mom with 3
or more kids, but man alive...these kids say and do the most annoying and hilarious things.
for
instance: just two seconds ago, i had to wash poop off my hands.
literally. for the 2nd time today. giant puppy poop. its too cold out,
so no one seems to want to take the new shepard puppy outside long
enough for the dog to poop, so he pees outside...warms up,
grabs a cup of cocoa, and poops in the house instead. he has a special
spot he likes to poop ~the fireplace. who doesnt?
lucky
for me, i have a daughter who fancies the word "poop" (see 'kids say
the darndest things" for more on this topic)... and just an hour ago,
she called for lukas, then she naturally immediately switched it to
"poopless."
i WISH he was poopless.
(did
i just inadvertently refer to lukas (aka poopless) as my kid? when i
was talking about the crazy things my kids do, and then tell a story
about him? oh man, i already AM losing it)
on
a side note: i cherish the love of God. and i see truly see people through
his eyes. i have been through some hard times lately, so when people do
something crazy, outlandish, or hurtful... i look at them and wonder,
"what are they going through?" i see every person as made in God's
image, so my heart is constantly bursting with fruit flavor...i mean,
its bursting with "facebook status's" to encourage people, to love
people and make them chuckle to themselves at my expense...because i know i would want the same =)
sometimes i even think in poetry form, weird, i know...
sometimes i even think in poetry form, weird, i know...
and i have to get it out... but have never really had anywhere to put it.
so, follow me, read me...laugh and be encouraged.
xoxo,
julie marie
(Now that you are done reading this, PLEASE scroll to bottom of the page, and click "join to follow" with your yahoo, google or twitter account!)
so, follow me, read me...laugh and be encouraged.
xoxo,
julie marie
(Now that you are done reading this, PLEASE scroll to bottom of the page, and click "join to follow" with your yahoo, google or twitter account!)
Posted by
Julie Marie
at
9:00 PM
Labels:
humor,
inspiration,
kids,
life,
stories
Sunday, January 1, 2012
new year. new me.
Posted by
Julie Marie
at
10:04 AM
Labels:
humor,
inspiration,
life
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